Ok hello everyone, so I’m here to set one thing straight 🌈. Now contrary to popular belief you don’t just come out once. It’s not like you get to come out to everyone you know in one go. Nor is it assumed you’re gay until proved otherwise, oh no, you’re assumed to be straight until you come out. And I can tell you it never stops.
There comes a point in every relationship I’ve established with someone that I’ve had a coming out experience with. What I mean by this is I am forever having to say ‘oh I have a girlfriend’ or ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I like girls’ . It never stops because of the assumed straight notion.
Honestly sometimes it gets aggravating. One of the scariest things some LGBTQ+ people have to do is come out, and that’s something you have to do constantly. Sometimes it’s easier than others. They are the times I love. Times when I don’t even realise. Times when it’s not a big deal. Like meeting someone new for example. You know nothing about eachother, you have no judgements or connections yet. You just lay out who you are then and there. Take it or leave it.
Or times when it’s like ;
‘Ok do you have a boyfriend, no I have a girlfriend’ oh cool. Easy done, you just came out to a new friend. Sorted.
Now those moments, they are the highlights, they make every other time that someone has cat-called you on the street. Tried to grind up on you in a club, without your permission. Or referred to your girlfriend as your sister, seem ok.
Those easy coming out moments make the rest disappear. The memories of awkward family events when you’re in the closet or job interviews where they immediately ask about your significant other, they disappear when someone makes it easy and safe to come out.
I think I’m quite lucky. I’ve come to a comfortable point in my life, where coming out rarely scares me anymore. Note, I say rarely. Ever since same sex marriage has been legalised in the UK I’ve felt this kind of power to unapologetically be myself.
I’ve built a foundation of people around me who support me and I’ve been lucky enough to have only had a few negative comments (from people I care(d) about)
Yet I still get tired of constantly coming out.
So I just have to say to anyone out there deciding to come out or not, be prepared….
This adrenaline and fear you feel right now. This is the peak of how you feel when preparing to come out however this could continue later than you have ever imagined. You may have to come out throughout your whole life and as scary as it may be, It’s also exhilarating and exciting, its passionate and ITS YOU.
I hope above all you take your time and feel no pressure!
You are loved, 🌈
Let me know in the comments how you felt coming out!
Danielle Jade x