Why you never stop ‘coming out’ as a LGBTQ+ individual.

Ok hello everyone, so I’m here to set one thing straight 🌈. Now contrary to popular belief you don’t just come out once. It’s not like you get to come out to everyone you know in one go. Nor is it assumed you’re gay until proved otherwise, oh no, you’re assumed to be straight until you come out. And I can tell you it never stops.

There comes a point in every relationship I’ve established with someone that I’ve had a coming out experience with. What I mean by this is I am forever having to say ‘oh I have a girlfriend’ or ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I like girls’ . It never stops because of the assumed straight notion.

Honestly sometimes it gets aggravating. One of the scariest things some LGBTQ+ people have to do is come out, and that’s something you have to do constantly. Sometimes it’s easier than others. They are the times I love. Times when I don’t even realise. Times when it’s not a big deal. Like meeting someone new for example. You know nothing about eachother, you have no judgements or connections yet. You just lay out who you are then and there. Take it or leave it.
Or times when it’s like ;

‘Ok do you have a boyfriend, no I have a girlfriend’ oh cool. Easy done, you just came out to a new friend. Sorted. 

Now those moments, they are the highlights, they make every other time that someone has cat-called you on the street. Tried to grind up on you in a club, without your permission. Or referred to your girlfriend as your sister, seem ok. 

Those easy coming out moments make the rest disappear. The memories of awkward family events when you’re in the closet or job interviews where they immediately ask about your significant other,  they disappear when someone makes it easy and safe to come out.

I think I’m quite lucky. I’ve come to a comfortable point in my life, where coming out rarely scares me anymore. Note, I say rarely. Ever since same sex marriage has been legalised in the UK I’ve felt this kind of power to unapologetically be myself. 

I’ve built a foundation of people around me who support me and I’ve been lucky enough to have only had a few negative comments (from people I care(d) about)

Yet I still get tired of constantly coming out.
So I just have to say to anyone out there deciding to come out or not, be prepared…. 

This adrenaline and fear you feel right now. This is the peak of how you feel when preparing to come out however this could continue later than you have ever imagined. You may have to come out throughout your whole life and as scary as it may be, It’s also exhilarating and exciting, its passionate and ITS YOU.

I hope you find your comfort in coming out, I hope you feel pride in coming out.

I hope above all you take your time and feel no pressure! 

You are loved, 🌈
Let me know in the comments how you felt coming out!

Danielle Jade x

11 thoughts on “Why you never stop ‘coming out’ as a LGBTQ+ individual.

  1. I love this, it’s all so true. I only came out last September when I got my first girlfriend. Unfortunately I was only with her for two weeks so naturally some people think that it was ‘just a phase’. I actually received a stupid comment from a family friend who decided it was okay to talk about my relationships. “So you broke up with Ash for three months and then you became a lesbian for two weeks” hold up, no. I was WITH a lesbian, I AM and ALWAYS HAVE BEEN bisexual. Safe to say that since then I share everything ‘bi no matter who I’m with’ that I can find on Facebook.
    It sucks that we do constantly have to come out, and ‘validate’ that we are who we are, but at the same time it can be so much fun and I’ll never get sick of it. I’m proud to be bisexual and I’ll shout it from the rooftops if I have to!
    Saph xx

    1. YES GIRL! Good for you. I’m happy that you have managed to find a label you are comfortable with and you own it 👏🏻

  2. I really adore this post! My niece came out to me when she was about twelve, although we’d always been really close and I kind of knew, even before she told me so, as a fact.. I know the troubles that not only she has had to face, but the troubles that many LGBTQ+ people face throughout their lives, so it’s amazing you’re talking about the whole notion! ✨

  3. I came out to my family as Bisexual in such a rage that I didn’t have time to regret it. My grandmother and mother were both talking about how people who like the same sex are mentally ill, and after about 30 minutes of listening to them I screamed out “None of you are coming to my wedding.” After that, it has been easy to tell someone that I’m attracted to both sexes.


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