Reflecting on 23! 

So for those of you who may not know already, it was my birthday on Wednesday! That’s right I’m now another year older, time seems to be flying by so quick.
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So I thought why not do a post looking back at my year of being 23.
Why on earth do that? I hear you ask….

Well I’ll tell you why, as someone who is less than eager to grow up, I was dreading turning 23. My best friend Shelby and I always joke about how we don’t act our age and how we want to never grow up, but I feel that within the year of being 23 I have found the peaceful place where I can both be an adult and a child *insert Britney Spears- I’m not a girl not yet a woman here*

I feel like at 23 I have become a person I would like to know.
What changed at 23?

At the age of 23 I lived in three different houses. I lived in Yorkshire, Guernsey and eventually I found my new home in London. This is perhaps the most adult I have felt even to this day. Finding a house, decorating it and spending what feels like days on end putting up ikea furniture whilst drinking prosecco on the hard new laminate floor. I was ready for my new adventure!

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At the age of 23 I attended my first Pride event. I can’t believe it took me this long to join in and celebrate pride! I cannot explain to you how I felt on this day, to see the love and the hope from everyone around. As I watched the parade I felt uplifted and proud . A memory I will not forget for a long time. At 23, I also attended my first gay wedding. I heard for the first time, I now pronounce you Wife and Wife. Hearing those words was a huge highlight of 23 for me, finally, it’s legal in the uk. The freedom to love is legal and rightly so!

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 I went to a few different countries whilst I was 23! Some small trips over to Guernsey and some bigger trips to New York, Copenhagen and Gran Canaria. Whilst in these countries I tried more things I’d never done before, I got lost on the subway, I ate duck, I rode a camel, I hailed a taxi cab, I took a train to an art museum in a country I had no idea of the language,I lasted both a jeep safari and a boat ride on a hangover and I checked off more places on my bucket list.  I stepped out of my comfort zone and i enjoyed it! At 23 I became a little more adventurous and a whole lot more curios about the world.

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  At the age of 23 I bought my first Xmas tree for my own home, I went to the store I had them cut it to size, I bought the decorations, I put on fairy lights and I loved my little tree, I cannot wait this year again to select my Christmas tree! Side note; i am so excited for xmas. I should probably start my shopping though.

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At the age of 23 I started my first job in London. After panicking like a mad woman when choosing to live, before finding a job I relied on my experience and found a waitressing job. Now, is this the job what I intended on doing for a year? No, of course not. Have I met some pretty incredible people whilst working here? Yes, and that is something I would not change. Every cloud has its silver lining and the good friends I have made through this job, they are the silver lining. They are what keep me sane when having many a customer throwing a hissy fit and checking for gum at the end of the night. They have made 23 so much more fun!

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At the age of 23 I have mastered how to use the tube, this for me is an incredible achievement. As someone who panics in small spaces the tube is not the most enjoyable experience, this was only made worse by my terrible sense of direction, I feel at 23 I FINALLY got the hang of the whole tube thing.

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At 23 I became a parent. To a cat. Not a child…obviously. Can I just say, this seriously shocked about 90% of the people who know me as I was NOT an animal person and until Theo I would have said ‘I hate cats’ turns out, I was wrong. I love this little guy! Is it weird I also feel like I’m quite similar to a cat now? 😂 I WANT ALL THE KITTENS.

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23 was all about Friends Friends Friends. One of the things that stands out to me most about being 23 was how much time I spent with my friends, I remember openly penning a letter to myself at 22 saying that at 23 I will make time for the people who are important to me. I will show my friends just how much I love them, I will make time for the people who always make time for me. Now reading this, I can hear, I kind of sound like a bitch that just realised how they don’t appreciate others, not the case. I am a people pleaser, so much so, that I feel sometimes I made too much time for everyone and not enough for the people who are truly special to me. I think at 23 I have managed to surround my friends with the love they deserve.

At 23 I took the leap and committed to my blog, I bought my own domain and said hey world, wanna hear rambles from my brain, then come on over here! I attended my first blogging event and met new people, I hit over 3000followers on Instagram and set up a Twitter page. I reached out to other blogs, I commented on pages, I joined in chats and I discovered a whole world I had no idea existed!

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At 23 I explored more places in London than I thought were possible! From bars to galleries from flower markets to the zoo! From parks to concert halls! I have seen more of the place I had previously taken for granted, I fell back in love with the city I call my home.

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At the age of 23 I became addicted to Netflix. I binge watched far too many tv shows and used many a day off laughing, crying, singing along, telling myself one more episode then sleep, lying to myself about the fact I would watch one more episode then turn it off, and seriously regretting staying up to finish the season. All because of Netflix, I’m not even kidding, the list I watch is becoming crazy.

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I think you’d agree upon reflection, 23 was a good year and I am sad to see it go, no year however is all positives, I had my days when my anxiety made it physically impossible for me to leave the bed, i shut down on several occasions and couldn’t explain why I was sad, I too, like many people I know cried frequently over the way I look often and far too many times got angry thinking about how my life isn’t exactly what I planned out. However, at 23 I feel I found a little peace with myself to yes, have all these emotions but not dwell on them as much and change my energy. I have managed to find an escape in my mind that will let me be free when I need it and give me the positivity I need. Perhaps what changed me the most At 23years old was the loss of family and family friends. In particular the loss of an extraordinary and fundamental person in my family, in my life. A man that brought so much joy and love to everyone he met. Someone I can only aspire to be like. Someone who will forever be missed in a way I cannot even begin to put into words. At 23 I truly realised that life is what you make it, it really is too short to waste on anger, sadness or fear. I’d always heard the saying,’life’s too short’ but until 23 I’d never had it impact my life as much.

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So here’s to 24, where I will carry on with the changes I made in 23 and continue to push further to be the person I desire to be.
I may not have my life planned and ready to go yet, but I’m on a weird and wonderful journey figuring it out, with a whole lot of tequila and glitter by my side. Who’s with me?

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